WRECKED by KINSLEY KINCAID

Author:KINSLEY KINCAID [KINCAID, KINSLEY]
Language: eng
Format: epub

lily

I hate him. I hate him more than I hate my parents for leaving me. I hate that he had me admit it. That they left me. I hate him for caring. For wanting to try and save me. I don’t want to be saved. I don’t need to be saved. And I’m not a whore. I will never be his whore. So what if I like fucking, getting high and numbing my feeling? That doesn’t make me a whore. It makes me a goddamn survivor in this world. Everything seems so loud. From the thoughts running through my head to the silence that surrounds me in the bathroom. Covering my ears won’t make it stop. I’m leaning against the bathroom door, then decide to check my pill supply. Opening the cabinet, and seeing through the clear blue plastic bottle to find I only have two pills left from what Luke left me. Shit. I will need to figure out how to get more tomorrow. After Jaxson beat the shit out of both of them and destroyed Ethan’s living room, I’m sure they will be in no rush to supply me.

I’m not ready to leave the bathroom yet. I’m not a coward, but if I have to listen to Jax for another minute, I will lose my fucking mind more than I already have. The need to submerge myself to further block everything out overwhelms me. Turning to face the bath, I lean over its ledge, and begin to draw a bath. As the water starts to fill, I begin to take off my clothes. Removing each item until I am fully naked, and they are in a pile on the floor at my feet. I step forward to get into the bath; the water is almost filled when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I see myself in the mirror every day, looking back at me each time. But now… I don’t know. Looking around my eyes, they don’t seem caved in, I am just tired. I am always so tired. Moving the gaze of my eyes down, I scan them over my body, the body he claims to be too thin. Is that even a thing? I mean, I don’t think it’s that bad. It’s not like you can see my ribs or hip bones. Sure, I could stand to gain a few pounds, but I don’t see what he is seeing.

Fuck. Stop. Brain, just stop, please. I am ok. I shake my head, to try and rid it of the shit my cousin said, and climb into the bath and turn off the taps. The water is so high once I sit down, it sloshes over the edge. I sit in it and lean against the back of the tub. This feels so good, the warm water against my skin. The only thing that would make this better is if I had a joint to enjoy while sitting here, but I didn’t grab one in my rush to get away from Jax.

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